I have a friend that posted in an email thread his idea that Real Women Crave Dad-vibes from Their Man.
Example Scenario:
A girlfriend doesn't know how serious her boyfriend is about her long term. So in a social situation she goes up to a viable alternative to her boyfriend and starts flirting with him, in front of her boyfriend. That is a test. What she's looking for is:
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Immediate intervention by her boyfriend.
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Her boyfriend establishing relationship boundaries.
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Her boyfriend doing this in a strong way, like a father.
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Her boyfriend doing this in a calm way, like a father.
However there is a massive and constant earthquake of values-changes happening under the foundation of relationships that make even marriage proposal inadequate, and almost impossible for the woman to get the dad-vibes she's looking for. For example: the notion that it's never appropriate for a man to set boundaries on a woman's sexual behavior. Now she can NEVER get the dad vibes she's looking for without feeling that he is in some way abusive. Proposal = male dominance. Shutting down her flirting with others = male dominance.
I have a counter-point to the fidelity testing above. I believe testing is inherently destructive to human relationships.
Marriage proposals minimize the need for such testing. Fidelity and intent are clearly stated with language, like civilized people. The testing scenario is very Hollywood cinema-esque as an ideal, but in reality has all kinds of potential for enraged males going to their car and coming back in the scenario with a gun. In 2023 America the chances or the gun outcome is a higher probability than the Hollywood romantic script with the dad-vibe strong calm man winning the girl.
Just speaking for myself, I've had girlfriends and a wife test me. I deliberately acted like I had no feelings about them hanging out with an ex-boyfriend, just to see their test burn their own self-worth.
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